The Apostle of the Outlands
by Brasta Septim
Summary: Zira's litle community has a new, and unusual visitor- an Anglican vicar! See what happens to the poor priest as he tends to his new flock- erm, pride. Note: Anthro fic.
1. Chapter 1

The Apostle of the Outlands

© Brasta Septim 2012

Inspired by the BBC Sitcom "The Vicar of Dibley."

**AN: Set in modern-day South Africa. Beta-ed by Graywolf95.**

**Prologue: Arrival**

The Very Reverend Richard Opsiener was nervous; horribly, painfully nervous. To be honest, he had absolutely no idea where he was going; he just had his transfer papersfrom the diocese, giving him directions to a Saint Taka's (Whoever the hell that was) Anglican Church in a community called "Termite Hills." From the sound of it, it like much.

Everything had been going perfectly for him until then; he'd been a respected priest up at Priderock Cathedral. He was the Sacristan, and was likely to be next in line for the Deanship- that is, until Bishop Rafiki had sent him out to "minister to the poor"- the poor in this case meaning the ignorant, supposedly violent community in the slums of Priderock City. He didn't know what thing were like there- or really anything about the other areas of Priderock City- he'd just stayed at the clergyhouse and spent his days saying Mattins, Evensongs, and Eucharists. He sighed and kept driving. Well, there went his ecclesiastical career out the window.

Twenty minutes later, he found himself staring at a worn sign with the words, _Termite Hills_. Richard sighed, "Well, at least I don't have to go any further away from civilization." He turned off the engine, grabbed his keys, and got out of his dilapidated Ford Escort to see his new parish.

To put it simply, it wasn't much- little more than a haphazard and tightly-crowded assortment of shacks. There were a few teenage lions wandering down the cracked dirt road, but none gave him more than a second glance- except to eye his car keys, that is. Richardwas a bit affronted by their blatant lack of respect, and shook his head, "Good Lord, haven't they seen an Anglican priest before? Or do they just not care?" Deciding on the latter, he hauled his trunk out of the car and locked the door behind him.

Before heading out, he looked in the side mirror to make sure he was presentable, straightening out his clothes. He looked to be about thirty years old, fairly thin with fur a dusty tan. He was dressed in the normal manner of an Anglican priest; black cassock with a white collar, rumpled white surplice over that, and a black scarf reaching to his knees. As formal as it looked, he was scorching in that outfit. With a sigh, he grasped the handle of his trunk and headed towards the village.

Needless to say, the church, it's belfry and the vicarage adjacent to it were the most well-built and largest buildings in the (could you call it a town? More of a shanty town, actually), though still run down. They were brick structures with a slate roof, though the bricks were cracked and dirty. Richard sighed, and dragged his trunk inside the vicarage. As dusty and furniture-deprived as it looked, it was home**. **With a quick glance, he dropped his trunk to head across the street to the church.

As soon as he walked in, he was immediately surprised- it was actually well furnished and well kept. All pews in good repair, candles were tall and fresh (though not lit), the altar, pulpit and lectern were in perfect condition, if a tad dusty. 'Hmmn', he thought. 'I might actually have something to look forward to in this little... place.' Slighty more jovial, the priest headed into the sacristy to check things out. Everything seemed in its place, luckily; vestments, vessels, ornaments, candlesticks, service books, hosts, communion wine (plus a half-full bottle of single-malt whiskey, apparently. Oh, this day was looking up!) and hymnals.

"Well," the slightly more hopeful cleric said, checking his watch after his sweep of the church, "I suppose it's time to meet the parishioners." With that he climbed up the belfry of the church, and soon enough the sound of bells could be heard all over the village. Just as he climbed down the stairs, smiling, the door banged opened, and a raspy female voice shouted, "Who the HELL are you?"

Richard spun around to see a lioness in the doorway, hands on her hips and shooting him a glare for no apparent reason. Slightly insulted, but not wishing to offend a likely parishioner, he drew himself up to match her glare with a smile. "I'm the Very Reverend Richard Opsiener, the new vicar. But you can call me Father Richard." he said, extending a hand of welcome.

She pointedly ignored the gesture, and just gave him a scathing once-over. "The name's Zira Reina, and I'm in charge of this little community. I should probably warn you... I'm not too fond of priests. You put a toe out of line, _Reverend_, and you'll be begging to go back to your Cathedral and its fat priests soon enough." With that, Zira spun around and marched out the door haughtily, slamming it behind her.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Beta-ed by Graywolf95. **

**Chapter 1: Blessed Is The Nervous Priest, For Zira Hasn't Killed You Yet. **

* * *

It only took a week for the good Reverend to get used to his new parish, despite the lingering threat from Zira. Though, as he'd suspected it wasn't much- the business in the little shanty town consisted of a decrepit petrol station, a random fast-food restaurant, a bar and a grocery store- anything else was probably bought back in the better parts of Priderock City. He hadn't met any other parishioners, though- the few he'd seen had just ignored him when he went out to buy food, or take an evening stroll. In an ordinary parish, he'd be busy with services every day- here he would have to stick to Sunday, due to the lack of any kind of parish council, secretary, sexton, vergers, deacons, or really any other kind of help. 'Though,' he thought, 'I might be able to recruit some of the congregation to help out.' he thought. Though, it wasn't likely- his parishioners didn't seem to be particularly , that could be changed in time...

When Sunday came, Father Richard was as nervous as when he'd first arrived,since he'd probably be meeting the whole congregation. He'd prepared everything carefully all morning for the Mattins Service- marked his Book of Common Prayer, got out a fresh surplice and scarf, moved the hymnals to the pews, and changed the altar cloths to a rich green and silver. With all that done, he made a made a quick sweep of the church, thinking over and over, 'What did I forget? What did I forget?'

While he was pacing up and down the pews, he didn't happen to notice a cub, about ten years-old in appearance, stick his head into the doorway of the church. "Hey, Mister!" Father Richard spun around with a frown to see the cub standing in the doorway. He'd never been addressed as just "Mister" before, so was a bit insulted; though he didn't let it show.

"Yes? I don't think we've met. The name's Father Richard." He smiled at the cub, who was looking up at the priest with curiosity.

"I'm Kovu. Zira Reina's my mum. You met her before?"

The priest's eyes widened for a moment, then chuckled nervously. "I've met her once before- first person I met in this lovely... erm... location."

Kovu nodded, then sat down in a pew. "So, what exactly are you doing here? Are you a motivational speaker or something, like those blokes who come round here every once in a while, looking for handouts to send to God-knows-where?"

The priest just looked at him with a slight frown. "No, I'm an Anglican priest." He was getting slightly exasperated by the confused and pitifully blank look on the cub's face. "You know, a priest. A cleric, man of the cloth, preacher, etcetera? A teacher of God's holy Word?" The cub must have understood, because he immediately leaned back against the pew and said, "Oh, you're one of those Bible-beaters, or whatever it is Mum calls them." The priest was feeling slightly more unhappy by the minute, but forced a smile.

"I suppose, yes. I'm here to spread the Gospel of the Lord, and to hold Divine Service for his benefit and worship. By the way, where is your mother anyway?"

"Hold on a minute." Kovu said, ran back to look out the doorway, then walked back up the aisle. "She's on her way, bringing my brother and sister over."

"Erm, anyone else coming?" Father Richard asked, concerned; he didn't want to be preaching to an empty church.

"Yeah, about... I think about half the town."

The priest's mouth fell open. "Half the TOWN? No offense, but I thought nobody would show up..."

"Well, it's Sunday- in case you haven't noticed, there isn't much else to do in this place, and some just feel obligated to show up." The prriest groaned. Really? They were only showing up because they felt bored and obligated? Just when he thought things were going well..."Now, what exactly are supposed to do once you get started? I've never been to a service before, so I'm not sure what we're supposed to do..."

The priest dismissed him with a wave of his hand. "Oh, don't worry about it- just follow the service in your pew hymnals. Just say out loud the parts under "People" after I say the parts under "Priest", okay?" Kovu nodded. "That's a good lad. Now just sit down- we'll get started soon."

* * *

Soon enough, the church was packed, to Father Richard's great surprise- he really hadn't expected more than ten people to show up. Forcing down his nervousness, he ascended the pulpit, trying to appear as amiable as possible when confronted with over a hundred bored-looking parishioners. "Good morning, and welcome to Saint Taka's Church. I'm your new vicar, Father Richard. And I must say I am overjoyed to see you all this Sunday morning." He forced a chuckle, though the faces of his congregation remained impassive.

He cleared his throat, and opened his Book of Common Prayer. "_Beloved, we are come together in the presence of almighty God and of the whole company of heaven to offer unto him through our Lord Jesus Christ our worship and praise and thanksgiving; to make confession of our sins; to pray, as well for others as for ourselves, that we may __know more truly the greatness of God's love and shew forth in our lives the fruits of his grace; and to ask on behalf of all men such things as their well-being requires_."

The response from the congregation was immediate, but mumbling due to their being absorbed in their hymnals.

"_Almighty and most merciful Father, we have erred, and strayed from thy ways like lost sheep. We have followed too much the devices and desires of our own hearts. We have offended against thy holy laws. We have left undone those things which we ought to have done; and we have done those things which we ought not to have done; and there is no health in us. But thou, O Lord, have mercy upon us, miserable offenders. Spare thou them, O God, which confess their faults. Restore thou them that are penitent; according to thy promises declared unto mankind in Christ Jesus our Lord. And grant, O most merciful Father, for his sake, that we may hereafter live a godly, righteous, and sober life, to the glory of thy holy name. Amen_."

The priest could have fallen over in shock- he hadn't expected them to respond, even though they were reading out of hymnals; although he had seen a good number looking at their hymnals with confusion. Oh boy, did he need to start a catechism class.

"_Almighty God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who desireth not the death of a sinner, but rather that he may turn from his wickedness and live; and hath given power, and commandment, to his ministers to declare and pronounce to his people, being penitent, the absolution and remission of their sins:" _

Did he imagine the extremely relieved look that was mirrored by half the congregation?

_"He pardoneth and absolveth all them that truly repent and unfeignedly believe his holy gospel." _

And their faces fell suddenly. He had a sudden feeling most of them were only there to fulfill somekind of "If I go you to church, you'll stay holy until next week" obligation. When this was over, he REALLY needed to get some catechizing done- however, the first Sunday was not the time.

_"Wherefore let us beseech him to grant us true repentance, and his Holy Spirit, that those things may please him which we do at this present; and that the rest of our life hereafter may be pure and holy; so that at the last we may come to his eternal joy; through Jesus Christ our Lord_."

"_Amen_."

"_Oh God, open my lips_."

"_And my mouth will shew forth your praise_..."

The rest of the service progressed rather quickly, once they'd gotten all the psalms, canticles, and scripture lessons out of the way. And he was glad for it, too- he could see his congregation members getting more and more bored. So, by the service's end, he walked in front of the altar and raised his hand in blessing. "May the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Ghost, be amongst you and within you all forevermore. "

"Amen."

Father Richard wiped the sweat off his forehead as his parishioners departed out the door. He had gotten through the service without any trouble- though he didn't think his congregation was up for another service today. 'Maybe it'd be better to hold off Holy Communion or Evensong until next Sunday.' he thought.

From the look on Zira's face as she approached him, he was right. The priest tried to look as friendly as possible in response. "H-hello, Zira! did you enjoy the service?"

The lioness looked at him, contempt highly visible on her face, and said. "Eh, it was a bunch of long-winded bullshit; but it was alright. As long as you keep the preaching and sermonizing to Sundays, you won't deal with any trouble from me. Deal, _Father_ Richard?" She extended a claw for emphasis.

The priest looked up at Zira, trying to look confident and said, "Deal. I'll see you and your family next Sunday then?"

"Bah!" was the only response from her, as she strode out of the church with Kovu, a girl cub and a teenage lion in tow, leaving the priest to breathe a sigh of relief. Things might actually be looking up after all...

**AN: Like it, hate it? REVIEW!**


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